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The Most Beautiful Creature

When God created man, He formed him and breathed life into his nostrils, then He allowed a deep sleep to come over him so He could patiently and perfectly fashion out the most beautiful of all creatures; A woman

The Man was put to sleep so that he could not interfere with the creation. From one bone the woman was fashioned out, the bone that protects his heart and his lungs and supports him, which is what the woman is supposed to do to her man; support him. Around this one bone the woman is shaped and modelled. The woman was created perfectly and beautifully.

The characteristics of women are as the rib; strong yet delicate and fragile. The ribs provide protection for the most delicate organ in a man; his heart. His heart is the centre of his being; his lungs hold the breath of life. The rib cage will allow itself to be broken before it will allow damage to the heart.

“What would men be without women? Scarce,
sir…mighty scarce.” ― Mark Twain
A woman should support her man as the rib cage supports the body. You were neither taken from his feet, to be under him, nor were you taken from his head, to be above him. You were taken from his side, to stand beside him and be held close to his side.

You are God’s perfect angel. God’s beautiful little girl. You have grown to be a splendid woman of excellence, in your heart are all the good virtues of Good, don’t change them.
Your lips – how lovely when they part in prayer. Your nose, so perfect in form.
Your hands so gentle in touch and in supporting your man

The woman was fashioned in God’s holiness, strength, purity, love, protection, support. A woman is special because she is the extension of God.

Man represents God’s image But woman; His emotions. Together they represent the totality of God. So man – treat woman well, love her, respect her, for she is fragile. In hurting her, you hurt God. What you do to her, you do to God. In crushing her, you only damage your own heart, the heart of your Father, and the heart of her Father.

Woman, support man. In humility, show him the power of emotion that God has given you. In gentle quietness show your strength. In love, show him that you are the rib that protects his inner self.

‘A good woman’s arms round a man’s neck is a
lifebelt thrown out to him from heaven”
JEROME K. JEROME,

The most beautiful of God’s creation is the woman, made from finished materials and modelled to perfection by the Grand Potter Himself, A Queen is what you are, don’t allow yourself be treated orherwise, neither should you present yourself cheap because without you the world is incomplete; You are the Most Beautiful Creature of God.

Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow?

Hello my darling,
I need to ask you a question
That has been on my mind ever since we started
A question I always ask myself

I know you love me so much today
But love sometimes go cold with the passage of time
So I felt this is the best time to ask you this
And I hope you give me a sincere answer

Will you still love me tomorrow like you do today?
When things aren’t going as they should can I count on you?
When no one believes me will you stand for me
When I do annoying things will you stick with me?

Uncertainties of life may come someday
With it might come unbearable effects
But my heart shall know no sadness,
If you’ll love me tomorrow

We go through the streets of life together
Walking side by side always
Praying that nothing come between us
With each rising of the sun

Today we go through many issues
But somehow we still stay together
What if I do the unthinkable
Will you still love me tomorrow

As I go through this life
Striving to put my name on the sands of time
I would need someone to lean on
As I row through the ocean of life

Today you’re mine completely
You give your love so sweetly
Today I can read love in your eyes
Will you still love me tomorrow?

I’ll like you to make me this promise
Which is worth more than gold to me
It is only this, my darling,
That you’ll love me tomorrow

Building a Perfect Relationship

“We cultivate love when we allow our most vulnerable and powerful selves to be deeply seen and known, and when we honor the spiritual connection that grows from that offering with trust, respect, kindness and affection” Brené Brown

There is a saying that a perfect match can only be found between a blind woman and a deaf man, because the blind woman cannot see the faults of the man and the deaf man cannot hear the nagging of the woman.

Building a perfect relationship is a full time job that requires commitment, hardwork and great perseverance.

Rome was not built in a day neither were the builders ‘jumping on each others “throat, so also good relationships don’t just happen;
It takes two people who truly wants to be together.
Two people who are willing and ready to sacrifice for each other
Two individuals who are very considerate and are willing to bury their egos for a cause they believe in; LOVE.

Like flowers, relationships needs to be nurtured, watered with pure and true heart and with a view to help each other improve in their chosen fields, a relationship that does not add value to the either love birds is wrong for both parties and it sure won’t hurt to quit.

In building a perfect relationship there are some important elements that are needed:

TRUE LOVE
To build a perfect relationship, the partners need to be sincere in their feelings towards each other, because only when they truly love each will they have a chance to commit and stay loyal to each other.

TRUST
Trust is a very important factor for all relationships. When trust is broken, it is the end of the relationship. Lack of trust leads to suspicion, suspicion generates anger, anger causes enmity and enmity may result in separation.

PATIENCE
Think first before u lose your patience with someone you love. Too often we fail to recognise the difference between the person and the performance. We forget that forgiveness is greater than revenge.
People make mistakes, we are allowed to make mistakes. But the actions we take while in a rage will either haunt us or help build the relationship.

COMMUNICATION
Talking to one another about everything supports this idea of transparency. We are the only species on the planet that has been gifted with symbolic language, yet we often fail to use it in its most effective capacity – building and maintaining healthy relationships.
Love birds who converse get to know what’s going on. There’s no second guessing, no surprises and no sense of potential deception.

FORGIVENESS
We all look forward to being loved and respected.
Many people are afraid of losing face. Generally, when a person makes a mistake, he/she would look around to find a scapegoat to point the finger at.
This is the start of a war. We should always remember that when we point one finger at a person, the other four fingers are pointing at ourselves. If we forgive the others, others will ignore our mistake too.

ORIGINALITY
To create a healthy relationship you have to truly be and represent who you truly are. There is only one thing you have to share with your partner that they cannot experience with someone else…complete intimacy. In order to have intimacy on all levels (sexual, spiritual, emotional, and intellectual) you must honestly show yourself, including your soft underbelly. Seeing and loving each other into fuller expression is the key to a profoundly passionate relationship.  Be vulnerable enough to let your partner see who you really are and be ready to receive love and acceptance.

RESPECT
When partners hold each other as their priority, respect is a natural eventuality. Constantly being late, saying one thing then doing another without preamble all show a lack of respect and consideration. Putting someone else’s needs before your is not really a sacrifice rather it consideration because of the respect and love you have for the person

TEAMWORK
Relationships flourish when you keep your eye on the highest good. When you’re focused on winning, often you’re trying to make the other lose. A successful relationship is about being teammate with a common goal. Your chosen partner is here to heal you and is bringing to light aspects of yourself that you cannot see. Therefore, always assume 100% responsibility for your experience, especially in a disagreement. Often there is something in what your partner is saying that is true. When you respond to your partner’s deeper message instead of reacting, you create a powerful experience of healing negative conditioning and initiate a deeper connection between you and your partner.

RIGHT SPEECH
There is a Chinese saying which carries the meaning that “A speech will either prosper or ruin a nation.” Many relationships break off because of wrong speech. When partners get too close with each other, we always forget mutual respect and courtesy. We may say anything without considering if it would
hurt the other party. Frequently exchanging these remarks plants the seed for a bad relationship. It’s like a broken egg – cannot be reversed.

PERSONAL PERCEPTION
Different people have different perception.
One man’s meat could be another man’s poison. Thus, do not be too bothered by others words if our conscience is clear.

EXPECTATIONS
Many relationships fail because one party tries to overpower another, or demands too much. People in love tend to think that love will conquer all and their partner will change the bad habits after as they get along, actually, this is not the case. There is a saying that “It is easier to reshape a mountain or a river than a person’s character.” It is not easy to change. Thus, having high expectation on changing the partner’s character will cause disappointment and unpleasantness.
It would be less painful to change ourselves and lower our expectations.

To build a perfect relationship is not impossible once all the aforementioned elements are put to use.

Love is not something we give or get; it is something that we nurture and grow, a connection that can only be cultivated between two people when it exists within each one of them – we can only love others
as much as we love ourselves.
Shame, blame, disrespect, betrayal, and the withholding of affection damage the roots from which love grows. Love can only survive these injuries if they are acknowledged, healed and rare.

Written by Amaechi Catherine
@amaraamaechi

Why Ladies Don’t Date or Stay with Nice Guys

In my many relationships I have grown to learn why I most times find it hard to hold down a lady I really love, not really because the lady doesn’t love me back rather its because I always play the nice guy who is ready to give his all to the lady he loves, but most times I wonder why being nice makes me lose the woman I love whereas another guy is treating another lady like he doesn’t need her but the lady refuse to leave. I sat down one day and thought about what have been doing wrong with all this ladies and I came up with this ten mistakes nice guys make; the main reasons ladies don’t want to stay with or date a nice guy even if he gives the lady everything in the world:

1. Nice guys seem fake : This may look confusing but being too nice to a lady makes a guy and the relationship look fake, sometimes the lady will also feel the guy is trying to lure her into a deep commitment and then change his attitude later and that scares ladies and freak them out.

2. Nice guys try too hard : Nice guys make ladies feel too important, like she’s a goddess or something close to that. They try too hard to please the lady, they often put aside their own needs for her and it scare ladies a lot

3. Nice guys seem desperate: When a guy shows too much affection to a lady and thereby paying little attention to himself, ladies see them as desperate, like his life depends on the lady and his success in life depends on the success of the relationship.

4. Nice guys don’t seem like they can protect themselves not to talk of the lady: Nice guys don’t seem like they can defend themselves, much less a woman. A lady want a guy she’ll feel safe and secure with, a guy that can protect and take care of her but a nice guy is too weak to protect himself not to talk of protecting his woman

5. Nice guys are predictable : A nice guy’s actions and reactions are like a Nollywood movie, you can predict the end from the first 3-5 scenes: so also a nice guy’s life has no fun, its been scripted, a straight path: they get married, have kids, go to work, retire. Women don’t want to add to that by dating a guy who is going to be so predictable they know his every move. Everyone likes a little
excitement and adventure. Women want to
know that they’re going to have fun with the
guy they’re with, not a guy who bores himself..

6. Nice guys seem like doormats : A nice guy is almost certainly a ‘yes man” everything goes with him, they are too weak for themselves, they can’t decide for themselves, not the cloth to buy or the watch they want, they put the lady in the drivers sit of their life and they hardly earn respect., always too scared to react to things that doesn’t favour them and when someone can’t take action for himself its a clear signals that the guy probably won’t stand up for his lady either.

7. Nice guys seem insecure : Nice guys
come across as so anxious to be liked and
accepted that you never know if they
actually like you or just want to be with you
because you actually paid attention to them.
Nice guys are easy to take advantage of and score freebies from. You teach people how to treat you, so if you act insecure and needy, people will treat you as such.
Insecurity on the part of a guy is a major turnoff.

8. Nice guys expect everybody to treat them nicely: Nice guys expect that because they treat every nice that people should respond to them in kind. But they often allow their own emotions and feelings to take a back seat, for the sake of other people, and when
other people don’t reciprocate, they play the
part of the victim. No woman wants to deal
with a guy with such mentality.

9. Nice guys are not a challenge : A nice guy will always be there for his lady whether she hurts him or offend him, they make it clear they’ll never leave so you don’t
bother to look good because you don’t think
it will even matter. Women want to be with
someone who is going to present a
challenge; it keeps the relationship on its
toes. It makes the relationship more
interesting.

10. Nice guys don’t behave like men : Nice
guys think that by always asking for her
opinion they’re being sensitive, but many
times they’re just being annoying. Women
want a guy who can take charge and create a plan and make a decision. Always asking her to make a decision is irritating and makes you seem like you don’t have a pair of balls.

Am not telling guys to be harsh or treat ladies bad but too much niceness portrays a guy as weak, insecure and a bad choice for a relationship You have to like yourself, feel confident and be able to stand up for yourself.

Most women don’t truely want to date a bad boy except for the ‘exceptional cases”, ladies just want someone they’ll respect and will respect them in return not a ‘yes man” who is too weak for himself, women love a guy who treats them well, but they also love men with guts and the ability to speak up for themselves.

Women want to feel protected and know
that the guy they’re with will have their back,
no matter what. Saying that women don’t like
you because you’re a “nice guy” is a weak excuse, chances are it’s not simply because
you’re nice; it’s because you behave like a baby.

Importance Of Loyalty

Loyalty or fidelity means devoted commitment that cannot be broken easily. To be loyal, means to adhere to all the promises made for the lifetime.
To keep all the commitments made forever.
Loyalty is rather a very easy word but a very laudable quality that is difficult to keep for many

Loyalty does not consider change in circumstances, rather it grows stronger in times of trouble.
If I am loyal to my partner and my partner meets with an accident that disfigured her, does not mean that I go away to somebody that looks better. If I commit to someone in a relationship and that person goes broke after sometime, that does not mean that I will look for richer persons, people who are loyal don’t break the relationship even at that time., every situation that comes tests loyalty.

When love is going through a period of uncertainties it is loyalty that keep people together.
Every relationship rests on trust and truth. If the relationship began with lies, it can never be sustained, from the seeds of lies how can truth grow?

The first need or requirement of going in a long-term relationship is to be truthful in all respects, fooling others into believing lies is very wrong. Once you have decided to and committed loyally, you should never break it under any circumstances, there can be no excuse for that. By doing any such act, we hurt the other partner who believed in us, and we hurt ourselves by becoming an unfaithful and unreliable person. We lose our self-esteem totally after that. Once that happens, the path is only downhill, all the way to hell. Love and loyalty go together. How can we be disloyal in love? That is an impossible thought.
To love and to be loved is a blessing, to break that by being disloyal is a sin against goodness and If by any chance one does an act of disloyalty, one must immediately confess and ask for forgiveness but will the relationship ever remain same after this act of disloyalty? No. Unless one is lucky to have an extra ordinary partner, the relationship will never remain the same. Better to be a loyal and truthful person always.

…………1 Flaw in Women

Women put love first
They are creators
They don’t control rather they are very caring
Not aggressive but very passionate
A woman is not relentless but very dedicated
Women have strengths that amaze men…..
They bear hardships and they carry burdens, but
they hold happiness, love and joy.
They smile when they want to scream.
They sing when they want to cry.
They cry when they are happy and laugh when they
are nervous.
They fight for what they believe in..
They stand up to injustice.
They don’t take “no” for an answer when they
believe there is a better solution.
They go without so their family can have.
They go to the doctor with a frightened friend.
They love unconditionally.
They cry when their children excel and cheer when
their friends get awards.
They are happy when they hear about a birth or a
wedding.
Their hearts break when a friend dies.
They grieve at the loss of a family member, yet
they are strong when they think there is no strength
left.
They know that a hug and a kiss can heal a broken
heart.
Women come in all shapes, sizes and colors.
They’ll drive, fly, walk, run or e-mail you to show
how much they care about you.
The heart of a woman is what makes the world keep
turning.
They bring joy, hope and love.
They have compassion and ideas.
They give moral support to their family and friends.
Women have vital things to say and everything to
give..
HOWEVER, IF THERE IS ONE FLAW IN WOMEN, IT IS
THAT THEY FORGET THEIR WORTH

Letter To My Unborn Child

My letter to my unborn child
My yet to be conceived best friend
Am yet to know whether you are male or female
But I know you are somewhere in heaven
Patiently waiting for me to bring you into this world

I put you in my prayer everyday
Each day I wake up brings you close to me
And am hoping to hold you very soon
Please don’t be angry ’cause of the delay in bringing you to the world
It was never my plan to delay you for too long

The uncertainty of the world changed my plan
Moreover the search for your mother was not an easy task
Dated different tribes
Met all kinds of girls
Being through so many disappointments

Being through many heartbreaks
Patched my heart so many times
But I found someone who could be your mother
We planning good things for you

Every night before I sleep
I wonder what your name will be
The school you’ll attend
I strive to give you the best

The best of the things I never had
Didn’t had so much growing up
Struggled through the hood
Through elementary to university
Never had the best of things

But its an assurance
A sure assurance
I’ll make sure I give you the best of things
The very best available
Which is why am hustling hard

But wait,
I have some words of wisdom
Which I feel I must impart
Remember these words always
And keep them in your heart

Dishonesty is bad
Never use it to get by
Always tell the truth
No matter the circumstance

Always love your woman/man
Keep her/him first in your life
And she/he will always be there,
To kiss away your strife
Always respect him/her,
Be the best thing in his/her life

Enjoy this thing called life
Don’t live it cold and bland
Close your eyes and take a leap,
Never do anything without proper planning and thinking

Try not to lose your temper
It’s really no big deal
But my daughter/son if you must fight
Do it for something real and just

Take the time to listen
To what people have to say
And don’t forget to smile;
It could brighten someone’s day

Education is key
Acquire it to the highest level
It will open doors for you
And you’ll liberate many souls

Never be a miser
Neither should you be a spendthrift,
Be a cheerful giver
’cause blessed is the hand that giveth

Try to live with patience
Do it the best you can
Stand up for those who can’t
Always fight for justice

Always be a leader
Step forward never hide
Put yourself out there
And they’ll stand by your side

These things I hope you learn
Someday you’ll come to find
But for now they’re just a dream
Tucked away inside my mind

My child
I truly love you
Though your face I’ve never seen
But I do love you

Now and forever
Everyday that comes between me and you
I know you are closer to me than ever.

These are my words to you
My unborn best friend
I love you child

Love & Lust; An Inseparable Union

Lust attracts partners to each other while Love
keeps them together, when attraction dies
in a relationship, the relationship will eventually end.

Love doesn’t exclude lust, just the opposite: if you
don’t lust for her, chances are you don’t love her,
And lust do lead to love sometimes

There are times when people fall for someone
else for reasons utterly unrelated to physical
appearance, for instance; someone has helped them through a difficult period, or stimulated them intellectually, for example. In these cases someone might love, but feel no need for sex. Someone’s kindness or cleverness has attracted someone else to them, and this attraction has nothing to do with physical attributes. It’s not about grabbing them or sex; it’s about meeting a wonderful person. This love has no lust. Does it have a future? Maybe not.
That doesn’t mean it isn’t real, just that it isn’t fertile.
In a relationship, your desire for your partner is not just one of physical attractiveness.

Lust is a two-headed beast. On the one hand, you
might lust after someone you see in the street or in
a bar, you want sex with them. Great. But in a
relationship, when you love your partner for their
eyes, their intelligence, and their kindness – their
body takes on a deeper meaning for you. Its curves
and angles and depths become expressions of your
partner’s personality, not just how they look. You
want your partner; you want to make love to them –
the person and the body as one. So lust can grow
with love. Love and lust become expressions of the
same adoration. Many couples enjoy better and
better sex as they get to know each other over the
years, even though they may put on pounds, or lose
hair. These things become irrelevant when the body
and the person are so intertwined in your
understanding.
In essence then, yes there times when love exists
without lust, but to divide the two is simplistic when
it comes to relationships, they merge, mix and flow together.

The brain chemistry of lust is physically more
powerful than love , if we are in love, we are more likely to be lustful for our partners.

Romantic love, a combination of love and lust, it involves both strong mental and physical desires.

“Love exists above the belt, lust below. Love is lyrical. Lust is lewd.” One difference is, love considers both the other person and yourself, while lust is purely a selfish motivation. However, lust is a component of the physical chemistry that attracts one person to another, which can result in love. At this stage, we are getting the idea that the two work together.

Being in love makes a person think twice about acting on their lust with someone besides
their partner. Lust for one’s partner can strengthen
the attraction and love for them. Lust may be the
ingredient that makes love stronger, and of
course.
Being in a relationship and in love signifies having
access to sex when we want- or at least that’s the
theory. If we know we are capable of fulfilling our lustful needs with our partner or spouse then we are more likely to have lust on the brain.

The power of true love lies in lust because it is based on natural, physically driven forces of survival. It’s not necessary to be in love to reproduce, but lust is certainly a main factor in reproduction, lust is the motivation.

Whenever we have our more intense feelings of
love toward our partners, they are almost always
tinged with feelings of lust, yearning, and wanting.
Lust has driven us before love was involved.

Strong Lust will sustain the love in a relationship.

The Economics of LOVE

Economics is the social science which studies human behavior as a relationship between ends and …….. personal growth, love and happiness to your everyday life. … as a relationship between ends and scarce means which have alternative uses .

The laws of economics are closely related to how most of us think about love, how we reciprocate in a market of love. About 90% of economics laws are based on assumptions and
taking all things as constant.

So, to start with let’s consider the laws of economics as it applies to love.

The Marxian Analysis : This states that the society is based on two things, the economic base and the super structure (all other things in society). The super structure is depended on the economic base. In other words, the whole story of finding and keeping love is dependent on your financial power.
The law of supply of love states that the higher the money supply the higher the supply of love (getting a beautiful babe), i.e., money is directly related to love.
Similarly, the law of demand of love states that the higher the price (the amount of money a boy needs to spend), lower is the demand for that girl, as even though many people want to date but don’t have the means to get her.

However, there the law of diminishing marginal utility works; it works in the either way for the parties in love. Utility is nothing but the psychological satisfaction derived. The law of diminishing marginal utility, states that more and more of a thing we get, the intensity of our desire for that thing tends to diminish. Once, a boy start spending more and more, at a point the satisfaction the girl was getting from the gifts gets diminished. Similarly, once a boy start getting more from the girl after a point he will not get the satisfaction he earlier used to get.
So, it is equally important for both the parties to maintain a balance otherwise the fun would soon be over.

Money plays an important role in love because ladies love money. There are 4 major four of love which determines your level of success in love and they are as follows:
K – Money
P – Physical attributes,
I – Intelligence,
C – Level of creativity

There is a direct relationship between the physical inputs (K, P, I, C) and outputs (mental and physical benefits. This functional relationship is known as production function of love. The law of return will explain the change in output as a result of change in input.

Law of Diminishing Return: In a short run relationship, more employment of variable input (spending) can ultimately led to lesser output or the marginal benefit diminishes. As one of the factors may be changed (money) in a short run, other factors (suppose your muscles) may not be changed, so spending (K) too much may not improve the boy’s chance of getting better benefit. This may happen due to the efficient
combination is falling out, (you have to spend more to hide your physical or other deficiencies) or may be your quantity of fixed factors have become less compared to your variable factors (your physical attribute is so low, that you might have to spend more than what you have spent earlier to impress her, by this time she must have known your weak point but you are helpless.) As, both must have the same level of satisfaction and there is compromise between the two. Once, both have started seeing each other and dating, and you have already started investing,let’s explain the cost-benefit analysis of this relationship from a boy’s psychology and insight.

• A boy spends money on a girl as a capital investment to reap profit in future.
• The more is the spending on good capital resources (gifts and expensive dates) better is chance of getting good output or profit.
• The time one spend, feel good and gets excited is what the break-even point of love, if one is not finding minimum level of satisfaction for his spending he is actually making loss, and would not like to continue the relationship.
• The moment you get a kiss is what you have started making profit.
• The moment you get into her, is what you have started making super-normal profit and hit the
jackpot.
• And if you could not succeed, it is your bad- debt. The whole investment on capital was a wrong calculation and lack of efficient management. Let’s try the luck somewhere else.
Now, let’s analyse what going on in a girl’s mind and why they love money more than anything.
• A girl thinks that the boy must be economically sound and can prove to be a good hubby in
future (economically sound).
• More spending shows that his capability to maintain her lifestyle in future.
• Mental satisfaction is the main thing, the girl thinks her break-even point of love, she feels
good but also the amount of gifts obtained plays an important role.
• When a girl gets emotional, she might give a kiss or might be having a plan to get more gifts
from you. Girls are too complex to understand.
It’s like a gamble you might hit the jackpot or be debt ridden.
• This is where, emotions plays a lot than money but it matters as well. Love for boys is a means to achieve sex which is the ultimate goal. But girls think sex as a means to achieve stronger relationship as a goal. She might give you a chance, when she feels financially safe and secure from your side.
• He was just a fool, she played the way around. She gets “I am the winner” feeling.
Now she will try another fool who can pay her bills.
The Micro – Loveconomics.

10 Ways To Make A Relationship Work Again

Are the petty fights escalating? Are the silences
becoming longer and more deafening? Can you
two lay in the same bed all night and not even
touch each other once? If yes, you both have
probably noticed that there are serious problems
with your relationship.
The question is – how can you save it? Is there
anything you can do before it is too late and
things are over for good?
If you are both willing to make an honest attempt
to patch things up and are willing to try anything
to make it work, you are already to half way
down the road to saving your relationship. Now
take a look at these ten ways to save your
relationship, and be ready to work at it.

1. Rediscover what brought you two
together in the first place:
Were you instantly attracted to her unique sense
of humor or her personality quirks? Did he drive
you crazy in his football jersey, or a great outfit
you saw him at a club in? What exactly was it
that sparked the initial attraction? Revisit your
past – go places you used to frequent when your
relationship was fresh and new. Do the things
that you used to do together. Your feelings for
each other are still there, but they have been
covered over by the stresses of your lives – it is
time to feel them all over again.

2. Touch each other – without needing a
reason:
In our anger or sadness, humans have the
instinct to withdraw into themselves – shelter
ourselves from anything that might hurt us.
However, when you stop reaching out to your
loved ones, you hurt them. Make it a point to
reach out and run your fingers through her hair.
Run your fingers along his arm, or across his
back. Whatever it is, just get used to touching
each other again.

3. Kiss each other:
There is only one problem with number 2 –
touching can sometimes come across as
accidental – however, a kiss is a kiss, and there
absolutely no way to accidentally kiss someone.
For women: put your hands around his face, lean
in and give him a big kiss – just like if the first
time you have kissed him. For men: put your
arms around her, run one hand up her back and
neck and gently pull her hair – when her head tips
back, give her a big kis. It is amazing how a
single, passionate kiss can melt the ice even the
strongest anger and sadness.

4. Change your surroundings:
Even the best of homes can seem like prisons if
you stare at them long enough. Go away for a
weekend – or, take a Friday off and make it a
three-day weekend. If you can’t afford to go far,
or just can’t, you should take the time to go to a
local hotel – just that little mini-getaway can
make a world of differences in putting the two of
you in better moods.

5. Respect Each Other as if You Were
Strangers:
It is a common known fact that we treat
strangers with respect – often more respect than
we treat people we have know our entire lives. In
public we take care to make sure our manners
are exquisite – but, in relationships, we often get
so comfortable that we can forget to be polite
and courteous. Is that fair? No. So, change it.
Give out compliments for all the small things
that he or she does. Say please and thank you all
time. It is time to start treating your significant
other like they are someone special, and
someone that you really, really like.

6. Learn something new together:
Stop fighting long enough to learn something
together. Take a ballroom dancing class. Join a
bowling league. Take a continuing education
class together. There are so many great things
that you can learn how to do together to build a
new and exciting bond to replace any of the old
skills that have gotten lost in the mix of your
daily lives.

7. Try to talk it out:
A man cannot read a woman’s mind – you have
to tell him things! Imagine that you got your hair
cut, and he still hasn’t said anything about it.
Was it a dramatic change? Did you hack off 6
inches, or more, or completely change the style?
If not, it is possible that it just did not register to
him. Would you get mad at him for not noticing,
and let that eat at you from inside? Would it
cross your mind that he may have noticed, did
not really like it, and didn’t say anything in order
to keep from hurting your feelings. Anyway, you
need to tell him that you are mad that he didn’t
notice, or say anything – but, just be prepared for
him to tell you that he didn’t like it – which, of
course, may make you even angrier (be prepared
for that).

8. Write a letter:
A handwritten letter says a ton of things – first,
and foremost, it shows that you care enough to
take the time and effort. Second, if you really are
not communicating in any other way, it may be
your last best hope. Write a letter listing the
things that you are feeling, the things that you
don’t like and what changes you would like to
make. However, and this is extremely important,
remember that you must be ready to back up
anything that wrote if a confrontation, or
discussion ensues.

9. Try professional counseling:
You may have a hard time considering your man
to attend counseling with you – we are extremely
proud people, and do not like to admit that we
need help, with anything (especially if we know
that we really need help with it). Talking things
out with friends and family has a serious flaw –
they have loyalties to one of you, or the other.
However, a counselor, is completely neutral and
will maintain objectivity in their assessment and
assistance.

10. A Breakup or Trial Separation:
If all else fails, take some time apart – cut off
contact completely for a while. Move on and
develop your own lives. It has been said that
absence makes the heart grow fonder – and
getting your lover back after a breakup is part of
the magic of making up. Often times, a couple
that goes their separate ways, builds their own
lives independently and then rediscovers each
other, can come back with a stronger, more
balanced relationship.

If you make it to step ten, and decide to call
things off for a while, you will need to really
move on, and rebuild yourselves before you
make any moves to get back together – at this
point it is not about saving your relationship – it
is about rekindling your attraction and building a
new, stronger relationship