Tag Archive | elements

Building a Perfect Relationship

“We cultivate love when we allow our most vulnerable and powerful selves to be deeply seen and known, and when we honor the spiritual connection that grows from that offering with trust, respect, kindness and affection” Brené Brown

There is a saying that a perfect match can only be found between a blind woman and a deaf man, because the blind woman cannot see the faults of the man and the deaf man cannot hear the nagging of the woman.

Building a perfect relationship is a full time job that requires commitment, hardwork and great perseverance.

Rome was not built in a day neither were the builders ‘jumping on each others “throat, so also good relationships don’t just happen;
It takes two people who truly wants to be together.
Two people who are willing and ready to sacrifice for each other
Two individuals who are very considerate and are willing to bury their egos for a cause they believe in; LOVE.

Like flowers, relationships needs to be nurtured, watered with pure and true heart and with a view to help each other improve in their chosen fields, a relationship that does not add value to the either love birds is wrong for both parties and it sure won’t hurt to quit.

In building a perfect relationship there are some important elements that are needed:

TRUE LOVE
To build a perfect relationship, the partners need to be sincere in their feelings towards each other, because only when they truly love each will they have a chance to commit and stay loyal to each other.

TRUST
Trust is a very important factor for all relationships. When trust is broken, it is the end of the relationship. Lack of trust leads to suspicion, suspicion generates anger, anger causes enmity and enmity may result in separation.

PATIENCE
Think first before u lose your patience with someone you love. Too often we fail to recognise the difference between the person and the performance. We forget that forgiveness is greater than revenge.
People make mistakes, we are allowed to make mistakes. But the actions we take while in a rage will either haunt us or help build the relationship.

COMMUNICATION
Talking to one another about everything supports this idea of transparency. We are the only species on the planet that has been gifted with symbolic language, yet we often fail to use it in its most effective capacity – building and maintaining healthy relationships.
Love birds who converse get to know what’s going on. There’s no second guessing, no surprises and no sense of potential deception.

FORGIVENESS
We all look forward to being loved and respected.
Many people are afraid of losing face. Generally, when a person makes a mistake, he/she would look around to find a scapegoat to point the finger at.
This is the start of a war. We should always remember that when we point one finger at a person, the other four fingers are pointing at ourselves. If we forgive the others, others will ignore our mistake too.

ORIGINALITY
To create a healthy relationship you have to truly be and represent who you truly are. There is only one thing you have to share with your partner that they cannot experience with someone else…complete intimacy. In order to have intimacy on all levels (sexual, spiritual, emotional, and intellectual) you must honestly show yourself, including your soft underbelly. Seeing and loving each other into fuller expression is the key to a profoundly passionate relationship.  Be vulnerable enough to let your partner see who you really are and be ready to receive love and acceptance.

RESPECT
When partners hold each other as their priority, respect is a natural eventuality. Constantly being late, saying one thing then doing another without preamble all show a lack of respect and consideration. Putting someone else’s needs before your is not really a sacrifice rather it consideration because of the respect and love you have for the person

TEAMWORK
Relationships flourish when you keep your eye on the highest good. When you’re focused on winning, often you’re trying to make the other lose. A successful relationship is about being teammate with a common goal. Your chosen partner is here to heal you and is bringing to light aspects of yourself that you cannot see. Therefore, always assume 100% responsibility for your experience, especially in a disagreement. Often there is something in what your partner is saying that is true. When you respond to your partner’s deeper message instead of reacting, you create a powerful experience of healing negative conditioning and initiate a deeper connection between you and your partner.

RIGHT SPEECH
There is a Chinese saying which carries the meaning that “A speech will either prosper or ruin a nation.” Many relationships break off because of wrong speech. When partners get too close with each other, we always forget mutual respect and courtesy. We may say anything without considering if it would
hurt the other party. Frequently exchanging these remarks plants the seed for a bad relationship. It’s like a broken egg – cannot be reversed.

PERSONAL PERCEPTION
Different people have different perception.
One man’s meat could be another man’s poison. Thus, do not be too bothered by others words if our conscience is clear.

EXPECTATIONS
Many relationships fail because one party tries to overpower another, or demands too much. People in love tend to think that love will conquer all and their partner will change the bad habits after as they get along, actually, this is not the case. There is a saying that “It is easier to reshape a mountain or a river than a person’s character.” It is not easy to change. Thus, having high expectation on changing the partner’s character will cause disappointment and unpleasantness.
It would be less painful to change ourselves and lower our expectations.

To build a perfect relationship is not impossible once all the aforementioned elements are put to use.

Love is not something we give or get; it is something that we nurture and grow, a connection that can only be cultivated between two people when it exists within each one of them – we can only love others
as much as we love ourselves.
Shame, blame, disrespect, betrayal, and the withholding of affection damage the roots from which love grows. Love can only survive these injuries if they are acknowledged, healed and rare.

Written by Amaechi Catherine
@amaraamaechi