In my many relationships I have grown to learn why I most times find it hard to hold down a lady I really love, not really because the lady doesn’t love me back rather its because I always play the nice guy who is ready to give his all to the lady he loves, but most times I wonder why being nice makes me lose the woman I love whereas another guy is treating another lady like he doesn’t need her but the lady refuse to leave. I sat down one day and thought about what have been doing wrong with all this ladies and I came up with this ten mistakes nice guys make; the main reasons ladies don’t want to stay with or date a nice guy even if he gives the lady everything in the world:
1. Nice guys seem fake : This may look confusing but being too nice to a lady makes a guy and the relationship look fake, sometimes the lady will also feel the guy is trying to lure her into a deep commitment and then change his attitude later and that scares ladies and freak them out.
2. Nice guys try too hard : Nice guys make ladies feel too important, like she’s a goddess or something close to that. They try too hard to please the lady, they often put aside their own needs for her and it scare ladies a lot
3. Nice guys seem desperate: When a guy shows too much affection to a lady and thereby paying little attention to himself, ladies see them as desperate, like his life depends on the lady and his success in life depends on the success of the relationship.
4. Nice guys don’t seem like they can protect themselves not to talk of the lady: Nice guys don’t seem like they can defend themselves, much less a woman. A lady want a guy she’ll feel safe and secure with, a guy that can protect and take care of her but a nice guy is too weak to protect himself not to talk of protecting his woman
5. Nice guys are predictable : A nice guy’s actions and reactions are like a Nollywood movie, you can predict the end from the first 3-5 scenes: so also a nice guy’s life has no fun, its been scripted, a straight path: they get married, have kids, go to work, retire. Women don’t want to add to that by dating a guy who is going to be so predictable they know his every move. Everyone likes a little
excitement and adventure. Women want to
know that they’re going to have fun with the
guy they’re with, not a guy who bores himself..
6. Nice guys seem like doormats : A nice guy is almost certainly a ‘yes man” everything goes with him, they are too weak for themselves, they can’t decide for themselves, not the cloth to buy or the watch they want, they put the lady in the drivers sit of their life and they hardly earn respect., always too scared to react to things that doesn’t favour them and when someone can’t take action for himself its a clear signals that the guy probably won’t stand up for his lady either.
7. Nice guys seem insecure : Nice guys
come across as so anxious to be liked and
accepted that you never know if they
actually like you or just want to be with you
because you actually paid attention to them.
Nice guys are easy to take advantage of and score freebies from. You teach people how to treat you, so if you act insecure and needy, people will treat you as such.
Insecurity on the part of a guy is a major turnoff.
8. Nice guys expect everybody to treat them nicely: Nice guys expect that because they treat every nice that people should respond to them in kind. But they often allow their own emotions and feelings to take a back seat, for the sake of other people, and when
other people don’t reciprocate, they play the
part of the victim. No woman wants to deal
with a guy with such mentality.
9. Nice guys are not a challenge : A nice guy will always be there for his lady whether she hurts him or offend him, they make it clear they’ll never leave so you don’t
bother to look good because you don’t think
it will even matter. Women want to be with
someone who is going to present a
challenge; it keeps the relationship on its
toes. It makes the relationship more
10. Nice guys don’t behave like men : Nice
guys think that by always asking for her
opinion they’re being sensitive, but many
times they’re just being annoying. Women
want a guy who can take charge and create a plan and make a decision. Always asking her to make a decision is irritating and makes you seem like you don’t have a pair of balls.
Am not telling guys to be harsh or treat ladies bad but too much niceness portrays a guy as weak, insecure and a bad choice for a relationship You have to like yourself, feel confident and be able to stand up for yourself.
Most women don’t truely want to date a bad boy except for the ‘exceptional cases”, ladies just want someone they’ll respect and will respect them in return not a ‘yes man” who is too weak for himself, women love a guy who treats them well, but they also love men with guts and the ability to speak up for themselves.
Women want to feel protected and know
that the guy they’re with will have their back,
no matter what. Saying that women don’t like
you because you’re a “nice guy” is a weak excuse, chances are it’s not simply because
you’re nice; it’s because you behave like a baby.